SiriusOrionBlack

Search for a member

Offline (3 hours ago)

SiriusOrionBlack

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4468
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About SiriusOrionBlack : I'm on here to read about other people's misfortune, not make friends.

SiriusOrionBlack's page activity

Visits<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 4:58pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 8:13pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:14pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:14pm<b>MrZsDad</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:32pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 7:46pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 3:51pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:47pm<b>trumpetsk</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:36pm<b>Triplehinge</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 11:44pm<b>crisanba</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:02am<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 2:11am<b>xman98</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 10:05am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:37pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:41am<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 9:32pm<b>radiocaf</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 6:07pm<b>ahmadmuneer</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:56am

Fucked!<b>csjc</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 1:17am

SiriusOrionBlack's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SiriusOrionBlack's badges

SiriusOrionBlack's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom decided that my hair was too long and that she was going to cut it. I now look like a male extra from Xanadu. FML

by ImTheAlpha / 12/23/2015 at 6:56pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2015 at 10:25pm / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML

by iworkatofficedepothomes / 05/15/2014 at 8:02am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

by Bandking / 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

by Stuck / 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot / 01/04/2014 at 2:21am / United States / Animals

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health