Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SirPlagueRat

Search for a member

SirPlagueRat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2160
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SirPlagueRat : I spiked the tea.

SirPlagueRat's page activity

Visits<b>oj101</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 6:34pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/18/2011 at 4:22pm<b>erpaderp</b> - the 08/20/2011 at 9:55pm<b>corruptblackkat</b> - the 08/01/2011 at 6:28pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 07/18/2011 at 1:48pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 3:33pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 02/02/2011 at 4:34pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 10/25/2010 at 3:13pm<b>MJJ4LIFE</b> - the 10/15/2010 at 10:07am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 10/12/2010 at 3:19pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 10/12/2010 at 7:15am

SirPlagueRat's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SirPlagueRat's badges

SirPlagueRat's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

#13570264
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36444) - you deserved it (3684)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

#13518841
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35409) - you deserved it (2757)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, finishing up in the shower room, I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Apparently both bathrooms were occupied and my grandmother really had to go... She was bent over in the kitchen peeing into a cup. I may never be able to erase this image. FML

#13496541
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (2239)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35595) - you deserved it (20834)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (8095)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML

#13274017
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (4228)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44694) - you deserved it (4835)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML

#13241272
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (2149)

On 09/28/2010 at 9:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

#12930514
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (15162)

On 09/06/2010 at 6:45am - misc - by Myself - United States

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39295) - you deserved it (14812)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (17387)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17138) - you deserved it (67993)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (48714)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (9669)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17904) - you deserved it (56606)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: