About SirPlagueRat : I spiked the tea.
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SirPlagueRat's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money
by hadtocleanthemess / 06/28/2011 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by KillMeNow / 06/06/2011 at 2:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Jess / 05/30/2011 at 11:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm / Miscellaneous
by KittenTime / 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals
by art_major / 05/25/2011 at 10:06am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health
by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
- Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait… Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over… Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I've been living in Germany for several weeks now. My classmates still cannot pronounce my… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…