Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About SirPlagueRat : I spiked the tea.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML
Monday 3 August 2015