About SirPlagueRat : I spiked the tea.
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Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (5193)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (28679)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (41031) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13076) - you deserved it (16391)
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25433) - you deserved it (2577)
On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47973) - you deserved it (4816)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71995) - you deserved it (9157)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (3371)
On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25404) - you deserved it (4085)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20305) - you deserved it (7672)
On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (3504)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:52am - health - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28491) - you deserved it (12715)
On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10318) - you deserved it (51554)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)
Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55027) - you deserved it (6663)
On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28722) - you deserved it (5811)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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