Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SirPlagueRat

Search for a member

SirPlagueRat
  • Town/Country : Quarantine, The Asylum
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1887
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SirPlagueRat : I spiked the tea.

SirPlagueRat's last visitors

oj101FreezeerpaderpfthislyfeHappinessForFreeFYLDeep5t3ff1k4hMJJ4LIFECloudEnvyFFML_314

SirPlagueRat's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SirPlagueRat's badges

SirPlagueRat's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28577) - you deserved it (6592)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (29051)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15441) - you deserved it (43156) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15726) - you deserved it (22930)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

#17895796
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (2732)

On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53208) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80449) - you deserved it (11871)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (4314)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (5038)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20762) - you deserved it (7738)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML

#17342514
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28044) - you deserved it (4426)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:52am - health - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML

#17324458
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31414) - you deserved it (13552)

On 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm - health - by preggo (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11801) - you deserved it (55288)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56992) - you deserved it (6812)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31796) - you deserved it (7250)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: