Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SirPlagueRat

Search for a member

SirPlagueRat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2336
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SirPlagueRat : I spiked the tea.

SirPlagueRat's page activity

Visits<b>oj101</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 6:34pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/18/2011 at 4:22pm<b>erpaderp</b> - the 08/20/2011 at 9:55pm<b>corruptblackkat</b> - the 08/01/2011 at 6:28pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 07/18/2011 at 1:48pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 3:33pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 02/02/2011 at 4:34pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 10/25/2010 at 3:13pm<b>MJJ4LIFE</b> - the 10/15/2010 at 10:07am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 10/12/2010 at 3:19pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 10/12/2010 at 7:15am

SirPlagueRat's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SirPlagueRat's badges

SirPlagueRat's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60460) - you deserved it (9138)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30874) - you deserved it (4969)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (2041)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I bought a key finder that responds to loud, high-pitched, annoying tones. It beeps every time I talk. FML

#18760166
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12162) - you deserved it (19122)

On 01/09/2012 at 8:30pm - misc - by annoying (woman) - United States

Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

#18648133
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9308) - you deserved it (37789)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48558) - you deserved it (7725)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48192) - you deserved it (3615)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31806) - you deserved it (2811)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (8618)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32919) - you deserved it (3124)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

#18315280
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28498) - you deserved it (5215)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:22am - health - by ughh (woman) - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34302) - you deserved it (6021)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

#18286632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31960) - you deserved it (6407)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

#18273711
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36347) - you deserved it (3041)

On 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm - health - by OUCH. - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: