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Offline (the 02/04/2015 at 3:38am) | Search for a member
About SingingWolf : My name is Sarah but I have millions of nicknames such as Lizzy, Oreowens, That One Girl, The (enter adjective) One, and most commonly, The Secretly Fat Girl. I'm 5'2" and my record highest weight is 104.3. I eat twice as much as anyone I know though. I'm popular for bringing oreos, cotton candy, packs of bacon, and even bottles of sprinkles to school and eating them in class. I'm very candid which can make me mean sometimes. Music is my life. I love all genres except rap crap. I play no sports but have always wanted to be good at athletics. I'm the highest ranking student in my archery class. I usually read at least 30 books a year. I'm a geek and a nerd. I love video games and can probably kick your butt at them. I have many different beliefs on many different subjects. Message me if I'm interesting to you. Message me even if I'm not interesting to you because chances are I'm just eating my food all alone in front of a game console.
P.S. No I don't have a kik
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Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML
Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML
Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML
Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015