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SineNomine's FML badges
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SineNomine's favorite FMLs
by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
by hakuna matata / 10/31/2012 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML
by screwedwoman27 / 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 4:19am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML
by biglady / 02/17/2011 at 2:02am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
by Jay / 06/06/2009 at 9:17am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…