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Simplylife

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Simplylife

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1094
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Simplylife's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Simplylife's badges

Simplylife's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a two-day drive to go to my cousin's wedding. The view is beautiful, there's mountains everywhere, and my new backless dress is gorgeous. Too bad the hotel has bed bugs and my whole body is entirely covered in bright red bumps. FML

#21518411
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (1436)

On 01/23/2016 at 12:25am - misc - by wedding leper - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

#21467423
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16242) - you deserved it (20786)

On 09/11/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by busmonster - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50017) - you deserved it (29845)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64975) - you deserved it (28221)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45001) - you deserved it (6696)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48540) - you deserved it (4939)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (38507)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

#20887990
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44535) - you deserved it (3786)

On 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm - kids - by Smoothskin (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
119 comments

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (96825)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42753) - you deserved it (3243)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

#20879472
166 comments

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76242) - you deserved it (4373)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML



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