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Simplylife

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Simplylife

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  • Number of visits : 448
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Simplylife's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46416) - you deserved it (27783)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59469) - you deserved it (25796)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41955) - you deserved it (6260)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44941) - you deserved it (4603)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (36083)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

#20887990
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41014) - you deserved it (3442)

On 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm - kids - by Smoothskin (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
117 comments

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (89215)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39587) - you deserved it (2969)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

#20879472
166 comments

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71806) - you deserved it (4060)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39385) - you deserved it (2925)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34312) - you deserved it (2653)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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