About SimplyPaige420 : I love cats and weed.
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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
SimplyPaige420's favorite FMLs
by pompomkiwi / 12/24/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
by this guy / 11/21/2013 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML
by crixon42 / 11/18/2013 at 6:39pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
by cheyeahh6 / 11/17/2013 at 5:41pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by queenxalee / 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML
by kel / 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love
by probablydodgedabullet / 11/08/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML
by nevergoingtopeeagain / 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Whatswrongwithme? / 11/03/2013 at 4:57am / United Kingdom / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…