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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Simonn

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Simonn
  • Town/Country : Cheshire, Cheshire
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 September 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 349
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Simonn's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (25676) - you deserved it (2302)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

#4299619 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (33476) - you deserved it (56066)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

#1493509 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (10300) - you deserved it (70955)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (70613) - you deserved it (19656)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (54149) - you deserved it (23594)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML

#122918 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (62630) - you deserved it (4627)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Dr. Virgin (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (528)

I agree, your life sucks (141646) - you deserved it (53016)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)