Simoneaux17

Search for a member

Simoneaux17

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 August 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1607
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Simoneaux17 : If you live in Sanford, then you've seen a guy running around in a gorilla costume. It's me.

Simoneaux17's page activity

Visits<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 6:56pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 12:42pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 6:20pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:40pm<b>akachikibaba</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 7:41pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:56pm<b>ashleighlaine</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 10:21pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:21am<b>Aljensen1217</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:37pm<b>EndlessBoredom</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:59pm<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 8:32pm<b>IzzyInWonderland</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:08am<b>raphanne</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 5:27pm<b>max367</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 11:31pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 2:48pm<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 4:39am<b>need2sleep</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 6:04am<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 12:31pm

Simoneaux17's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Simoneaux17's badges

Simoneaux17's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

by that's methed up, darling / 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

by Your ass... Grab it... / 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

by jasonnn / 03/30/2012 at 1:00am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

by Janie / 01/10/2012 at 12:52am / United States / Love

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

by G. Briones / 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm / Kids

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

by bizzyizzy0121 / 11/21/2011 at 1:28am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML

by beccabooyah / 11/19/2011 at 7:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML

by Trey / 11/18/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

by honeybadger123 / 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love