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SimmoRocks

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SimmoRocks

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1150
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SimmoRocks : Guitarist of ChainSaw ChestPain and all-round nice guy :)

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facebook.com/ChainSawChestPain

SimmoRocks's page activity

Visits<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 1:36am<b>IERTysonI</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 5:26pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:06pm<b>perdix</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 8:45am<b>Hemi_Driven</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 8:22am<b>TheWicked</b> - the 05/18/2011 at 6:49am

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SimmoRocks's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

#4605529
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40188) - you deserved it (22745)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML

#4224204
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10151) - you deserved it (66747)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML

#3169112
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (41985)

On 06/24/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by blind (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

#1622822
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (40481)

On 05/04/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by pussy (woman) - Italy

Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML

#1481817
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8184) - you deserved it (57088)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by krizleykrislo - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I sent a cover letter to a potential employer. In the letter, I talked about my great attention to detail, my strong ability to focus, and my stellar writing skills. After hitting send, I reread the letter and noticed that I typed my name "B-R-A-I-N." My name is Brian. FML

#1008813
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14219) - you deserved it (50868)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:09am - work - by jusfonzin (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30010) - you deserved it (83468)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146687) - you deserved it (7108)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75419) - you deserved it (27827)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

#142269
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41066) - you deserved it (24752)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

#121386
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43738) - you deserved it (4940)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by jcc (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

#79689
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52786) - you deserved it (3280)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

#37
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23936) - you deserved it (108903)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -



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