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SimmoRocks

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SimmoRocks
  • Town/Country : Gold Coast, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 901
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SimmoRocks : Guitarist of ChainSaw ChestPain and all-round nice guy :)

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SimmoRocks's favorite FMLs

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

#15352953
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23732) - you deserved it (6139)

On 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67079) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

#14637512
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18990) - you deserved it (3202)

On 01/19/2011 at 9:55am - work - by tgpgs -

Today, a friend asked me to come with her to the art building at school, so I could pose in the stance of a figure she was drawing for her exam. I obliged and sat for the pose. When the art teacher walked by she looked at me, then at the sketch, pointed to the legs and said, "make them fatter". FML

#14577178
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19077) - you deserved it (2934)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:28am - misc - by humiliated (woman) - United Kingdom (East Ayrshire)

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11077) - you deserved it (35200)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while working as a hotel guard I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes I realized he was dead. FML

#14126104
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28078) - you deserved it (7344)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13474) - you deserved it (25228)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

#13365582
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (4808)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

#12964017
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56854) - you deserved it (2910)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11508) - you deserved it (41489)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (1782)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

#5897167
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (12205)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a phone call for a interview at Target at 4:30 pm. I got super excited, so I got dressed up and headed over there. I tell the manager that I am there for my interview. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. My friends had prank called me. FML

#5454109
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33243) - you deserved it (2891)

On 09/24/2009 at 8:11pm - work - by Pho_Rheal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML

#5168963
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36309) - you deserved it (10580)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by hatecolin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63809) - you deserved it (2485)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)



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