Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Silvertooth5525

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 5:58am) | Search for a member

Silvertooth5525

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Silvertooth5525's page activity

Visits<b>ElliottRose</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Ari3l</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 8:44pm<b>Naveed_N</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:30pm<b>chrissapp</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:58am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:16pm

Silvertooth5525's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Silvertooth5525's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44169) - you deserved it (3083)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17781) - you deserved it (34356)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49865) - you deserved it (4877)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39370) - you deserved it (3207)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (14021)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (2565)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

#21236566
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39997) - you deserved it (4533)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37446) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39182) - you deserved it (24214)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22056) - you deserved it (36095)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (31920)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47261) - you deserved it (5522)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35991) - you deserved it (5962)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: