About Sillydeadperson : I'm a silly dead person.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (8302)
On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11170) - you deserved it (2967)
On 01/09/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by bjfail (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13784) - you deserved it (4338)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6033) - you deserved it (15079)
On 01/09/2010 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pervert (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6025) - you deserved it (43497)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9952) - you deserved it (20294)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada
Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17036) - you deserved it (3841)
On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6760) - you deserved it (33425)
On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (17370) - you deserved it (9374)
On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (27603)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10261) - you deserved it (25839)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8966) - you deserved it (17994)
On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32726) - you deserved it (3283)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33345) - you deserved it (1495)
On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom
Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15691) - you deserved it (2273)
On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
