About Sillydeadperson : I'm a silly dead person.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17510) - you deserved it (13537)
On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21874) - you deserved it (4420)
On 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29129) - you deserved it (12821)
On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28477) - you deserved it (20804)
On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)
Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14750) - you deserved it (8851)
On 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16794) - you deserved it (2117)
On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (2478)
On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31422) - you deserved it (6826)
On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29221) - you deserved it (2257)
On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (6360)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (16270)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (1949)
On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (8017)
On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (3620)
On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18646) - you deserved it (6013)
On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
