About Sillydeadperson : I'm a silly dead person.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33411) - you deserved it (6870)
On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29665) - you deserved it (8010)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33207) - you deserved it (7633)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91494) - you deserved it (10769)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25959) - you deserved it (2793)
On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8017) - you deserved it (21807)
On 12/13/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by wtfson -
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9252) - you deserved it (63974)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22157) - you deserved it (4769)
On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (7644)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (3533)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (37220)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14695) - you deserved it (5691)
On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46384) - you deserved it (1906)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22167) - you deserved it (3509)
On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9845) - you deserved it (44517)
On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
