About Sillydeadperson : I guess.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13317) - you deserved it (21502)
On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (4377)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18977) - you deserved it (1975)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (5964)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33370) - you deserved it (3931)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (4321)
On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (2208)
On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19666) - you deserved it (2876)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11353) - you deserved it (33273)
On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16904) - you deserved it (29281)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14364) - you deserved it (26870)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18184) - you deserved it (3095)
On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)
Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5316) - you deserved it (35405)
On 10/21/2011 at 12:57am - misc - by crankg - United States (Ohio)
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26953) - you deserved it (8009)
Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (8018)
On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Monday 17 June 2013
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