Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sillydeadperson

Offline (the 06/08/2014 at 9:59pm) | Search for a member

Sillydeadperson

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20862
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Sillydeadperson : I guess.

Sillydeadperson's page activity

Visits<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:42am<b>manlove38</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:16am<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:49am<b>Squtchy</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:27pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:30pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:01pm<b>syed121417</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:29pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:03pm<b>smb12346</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 7:11pm<b>Voltze</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 4:09am<b>Nvitale9471</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 12:57pm<b>izzie321</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 3:46am<b>martin8337</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 1:17pm<b>ekb777</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:51am<b>peacheso</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 1:14am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:39am<b>lemon_phat</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:23pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 4:04pm

Sillydeadperson's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Sillydeadperson's badges

Sillydeadperson's favorite FMLs

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40840) - you deserved it (2993)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (6006)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10431) - you deserved it (27297)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (6422)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15419) - you deserved it (35785)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30937) - you deserved it (19270)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18456) - you deserved it (47694)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10486) - you deserved it (35738)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15092) - you deserved it (38491)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

#19444005
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (6295)

On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (4958)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37943) - you deserved it (2950)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22270) - you deserved it (2607)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML

#19439898
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24900) - you deserved it (2658)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by awwman - United States



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: