Sillydeadperson

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Offline (the 06/08/2014 at 9:59pm)

Sillydeadperson

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 August 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 25348
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Sillydeadperson : I guess.

Sillydeadperson's page activity

Visits<b>Jkalia</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 4:33pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:42am<b>manlove38</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:16am<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:49am<b>Squtchy</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:27pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:30pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:01pm<b>syed121417</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 9:29pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:03pm<b>smb12346</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 7:11pm<b>Voltze</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 4:09am<b>Nvitale9471</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 12:57pm<b>izzie321</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 3:46am<b>martin8337</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 1:17pm<b>ekb777</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 12:51am<b>peacheso</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 1:14am<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:39am

Sillydeadperson's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Sillydeadperson's badges

Sillydeadperson's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

by Makeitdance / 05/11/2014 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Animals

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

by I suck :( / 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2014 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

by gassymomma / 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

by banana_tree / 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

by Taylor / 04/21/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

by that girl / 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous