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Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (9346)
On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10731) - you deserved it (48647)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64831) - you deserved it (10561)
On 03/18/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Jaxter (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461561) - you deserved it (573392)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69832) - you deserved it (6279)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out I could not go to the Philippines because I have never had Chicken Pox. The school took the radical decision to prohibit students who have never had Chicken Pox to leave the college. I am condemned to stay in Hong Kong in some shitty project because I am a healthy young man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51258) - you deserved it (3087)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:14am - health - by Swaby (man) - Hong Kong
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (408290) - you deserved it (26486)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5702) - you deserved it (19569)
On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version
Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23029) - you deserved it (16973)
On 10/26/2008 at 8:56am - health - by Unknown - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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