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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Showmehowtolive

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Showmehowtolive
  • Town/Country : England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 October 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 5210
  • Number of comments : 430
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Showmehowtolive : Zebrasofa13 is mine! Hands off the goods!
CloudEnvy enjoys pillow fights wearing only boxers.... *Curls up in fetal position and cries*

Brb, playing Skyrim. Could be a while.

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Showmehowtolive's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (8820)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML

#4994498 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (9825) - you deserved it (45606)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML

#433084 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (61651) - you deserved it (9920)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Jaxter (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363129) - you deserved it (401478)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

#253900 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (64590) - you deserved it (5626)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I could not go to the Philippines because I have never had Chicken Pox. The school took the radical decision to prohibit students who have never had Chicken Pox to leave the college. I am condemned to stay in Hong Kong in some shitty project because I am a healthy young man. FML

#168373 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (49311) - you deserved it (2885)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:14am - health - by Swaby (man) - Hong Kong

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (692)

I agree, your life sucks (342779) - you deserved it (22951)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (4987) - you deserved it (17015)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML

#52 (41)

I agree, your life sucks (19807) - you deserved it (14777)

On 10/26/2008 at 8:56am - health - by Unknown - Sent from mobile version