Shortay123

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Shortay123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4370
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Shortay123's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 8:16am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 12:49am<b>Sawsaiuge</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:01am<b>WildDeerbra</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:20pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 11:47pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:05pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 9:50pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 6:50am<b>knaevery</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 12:17am<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 7:56am<b>StoicCloud</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 1:49pm<b>Domo17</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 5:29am<b>I_iz_B_a_troll</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 10:40pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 10:06pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:06am<b>swarm20</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 3:56am<b>SandyRae</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 10:35pm

Shortay123's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Shortay123's badges

Shortay123's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

by anonymous / 01/20/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

by Dani / 01/12/2012 at 5:35am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm / China / Miscellaneous

Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML

by Thomas / 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

by sadcase / 04/12/2011 at 10:01am / Australia / Health

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

by anon / 03/05/2011 at 5:15am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

by WhatsThatSmell / 02/25/2011 at 8:25am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 5:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 5:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

by elliekilroy / 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals

Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked my mom if I was the product of a one night stand. She replied with, "Well, technically he didn't spend the night." FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 6:14pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy