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Shortay123's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Shortay123's favorite FMLs
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML
by apparentlytoougly / 03/27/2013 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML
by Imafishyfishy / 03/27/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
by first time at McDonald's in months... / 03/27/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 10:22am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
by Faaccckkk / 03/25/2013 at 10:48am / United States / Love
Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML
by sorryyouweregone / 03/25/2013 at 9:13am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML
by PrayingForMoney / 03/25/2013 at 4:48am / United States (California) / Money
by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals
by brittyed / 03/25/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Animals
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML
by bleach / 03/24/2013 at 1:30am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML
by Kjer / 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm / United States / Kids