Search for a member

Offline (the 09/20/2014 at 1:32am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 593
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

ShivaLaserbean's page activity

Visits<b>bigblackcot</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 3:42am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 8:00pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:33pm<b>EverythingNerdy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 10:31pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:17pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 5:20pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:12am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:19am<b>Adhdkid107</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 10:57pm

ShivaLaserbean's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of ShivaLaserbean's badges

ShivaLaserbean's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

by get a grip, son / 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my daughter squealing with delight in front of a video game. Beating a boss? Slaying an adversary? Completing a quest? Not at all. She was chasing birds, making them fly away, then starting all over again as soon as they landed. She's 19. FML

by melimelo24 / 03/13/2014 at 5:33am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, the heater went out at work. I was shivering so hard that someone thought I was having a seizure. FML

by Frozen / 03/10/2014 at 10:23am / United States / Work

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

by alii2349 / 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

by MarBlu / 01/23/2014 at 7:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

by biscuit / 01/07/2011 at 12:46am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

by melonhead / 01/14/2010 at 3:46am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous