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ShivaLaserbean's favorite FMLs
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
by get a grip, son / 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML
by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched my daughter squealing with delight in front of a video game. Beating a boss? Slaying an adversary? Completing a quest? Not at all. She was chasing birds, making them fly away, then starting all over again as soon as they landed. She's 19. FML
by melimelo24 / 03/13/2014 at 5:33am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by Frozen / 03/10/2014 at 10:23am / United States / Work
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy
by alii2349 / 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
by MarBlu / 01/23/2014 at 7:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health
by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
by biscuit / 01/07/2011 at 12:46am / United Kingdom / Health
by melonhead / 01/14/2010 at 3:46am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…