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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6792) - you deserved it (2787)
On 04/23/2012 at 9:22am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6795) - you deserved it (28776)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17555) - you deserved it (6936)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16076) - you deserved it (14425)
On 02/03/2012 at 10:49am - kids - by AvengedSevenX - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47446) - you deserved it (4252) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (2031)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25496) - you deserved it (4063)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (6987)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36139) - you deserved it (1906)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36139) - you deserved it (1906)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (18359)
On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (43720)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (7014)
On 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by Jim - United States
Today, while stocking shelves with canned goods, a kid no older than ten ran down the aisle, knocking down everything in his path. He was followed by his mother who was laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23577) - you deserved it (1867)
On 02/04/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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