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Shitnobodysays_

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Shitnobodysays_
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  • Number of visits : 348
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Shitnobodysays_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

#20187648
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (1823)

On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27554) - you deserved it (1999)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6955) - you deserved it (21497)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (1769)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39804) - you deserved it (6359)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

#20186150
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (1598)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5769) - you deserved it (34633)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29247) - you deserved it (8467)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

#20183959
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (1272)

On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan

Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML

#20183636
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (1339)

On 11/29/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by elizabeth - United States (Nevada)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21466) - you deserved it (6059)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (1296)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35534) - you deserved it (2181)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

#20181186
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19354) - you deserved it (3706)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:05pm - work - by bored - United States

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (1365)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)



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