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Shieldsam

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Shieldsam

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 38
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Shieldsam's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Shieldsam's badges

Shieldsam's favorite FMLs

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43178) - you deserved it (8261)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54895) - you deserved it (3498)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

#20709289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47048) - you deserved it (3960)

On 06/06/2013 at 8:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60490) - you deserved it (9138)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML

#20540861
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35210) - you deserved it (2808)

On 03/12/2013 at 3:03pm - misc - by PhailedMidterm (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML

#18566755
149 comments

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34157) - you deserved it (7154)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50290) - you deserved it (7814)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

#10855287
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (3906)

On 05/30/2010 at 1:12am - animals - by Alpheas - United States (Texas)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18306) - you deserved it (5858)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39234) - you deserved it (2473)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21887) - you deserved it (53471)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

#3792104
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91336) - you deserved it (4661)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
680 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33284) - you deserved it (481527)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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