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Shenabina's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/20/2015 at 5:44am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by wifeofafainter / 09/24/2015 at 2:31am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML
by gotmilk? / 09/22/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML
by bev_rogan / 06/21/2015 at 6:16am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML
by notgay / 06/21/2015 at 2:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by henrylikestreats / 04/30/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML
by fs / 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me… Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read… Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was,…