[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Shellbaby

Search for a member

Shellbaby
  • Town/Country : Beat, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 June 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 263
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Shellbaby's last visitors

muffy_da_bearCyclonePsychokitten8653

Shellbaby's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Shellbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

#4799049 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (26552) - you deserved it (4171)

On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (61166) - you deserved it (4233)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (38621) - you deserved it (4797)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

#4370126 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (43226) - you deserved it (11639)

On 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Momlovesme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML

#4204058 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (14418) - you deserved it (33070)

On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087 (411)

I agree, your life sucks (56415) - you deserved it (11333)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

#3863732 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (40179) - you deserved it (9423)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by blackntangirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

#3849129 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (33539)

On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

#3176969 (366)

I agree, your life sucks (56016) - you deserved it (8232)

On 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by toomuchmetal (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (12653) - you deserved it (70649)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (137067) - you deserved it (19618)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (41268) - you deserved it (15820)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (40943) - you deserved it (2557)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my daughter asked me if we can make sticker art. Of course I said it was ok so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML

#2935296 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (3752)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:35am - kids - by inboxbuddies (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

#2933331 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (3333)

On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)