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SheldonCooper99

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SheldonCooper99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 380
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SheldonCooper99 : Sup.

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SheldonCooper99's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43144) - you deserved it (6108)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (11086)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (55547)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41851) - you deserved it (5198)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boss claimed that I've been lying to get days off because apparently nobody can be so unlucky as to have three family members die within a month. I am just that unlucky, and suspended. FML

#20969727
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48745) - you deserved it (2402)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:03am - work - by unemployed and bereaved (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

#20935170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46371) - you deserved it (4188)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37585) - you deserved it (4006)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47671) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (6488)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43832) - you deserved it (4828)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43239) - you deserved it (3511)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41183) - you deserved it (3233)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53140) - you deserved it (9094)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -



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