About ShelbyG : *Knows how to speak in 5 different lauguages. (Not fluently)
*Loves music.
*Hates rap and country. (Rap is crap)
*Reads way too much manga.
*Belives in Darwinism
*Likes sweets. ( Pocky is awesomee)
*Has a cat and a dog
*Watches cartoons. (Chowder ftw ;] )
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57872) - you deserved it (2709)
On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (51795)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13160) - you deserved it (79462)
On 05/19/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by morningeyes (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11109) - you deserved it (34937)
On 05/18/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by lulabell (woman) - United States
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (107274)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49774) - you deserved it (17159)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47154) - you deserved it (3133)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (142292) - you deserved it (32745)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, while biking I got into a major crash with two cars. The cars were parked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9009) - you deserved it (39244)
On 05/16/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Pokerking98 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38462) - you deserved it (6785)
On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12784) - you deserved it (37940)
On 05/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by penguinsfan (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I realized that the only human being I have talked to in the last three days is the guy at the drive thru. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37066) - you deserved it (13459)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by shrimp41 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He'll get homemade cookies (his mom's recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63071) - you deserved it (4637)
On 05/14/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by bettycrocker (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14019) - you deserved it (85825)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50271) - you deserved it (5201)
On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
