Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

ShelbyG

Search for a member

ShelbyG
  • Town/Country : Springfield, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 October 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 22777
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About ShelbyG : *Knows how to speak in 5 different lauguages. (Not fluently)
*Loves music.
*Hates rap and country. (Rap is crap)
*Reads way too much manga.
*Belives in Darwinism
*Likes sweets. ( Pocky is awesomee)
*Has a cat and a dog
*Watches cartoons. (Chowder ftw ;] )

ShelbyG's last visitors

FreezeiljajlmmylifeisnotfairdaisyreeTreeHugger_98altnakatie_ladycutebutpsycho

ShelbyG's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ShelbyG's favorite FMLs

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

#2524291
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7868) - you deserved it (43445)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:39am - animals - by xacked (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

#2524012
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38292) - you deserved it (16772)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML

#2523037
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45540) - you deserved it (4612)

On 06/02/2009 at 1:41am - love - by toobad (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

#2514787
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24590) - you deserved it (48779)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML

#2436304
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49283) - you deserved it (3042)

On 05/30/2009 at 3:50pm - health - by quietdown (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML

#2431161
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13679) - you deserved it (40854)

On 05/30/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by eayers2689 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46502) - you deserved it (1875)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

#2414317
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14085) - you deserved it (46494)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43462) - you deserved it (6385)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

#2340174
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42042) - you deserved it (4147)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by snitchovich (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

#2308873
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55089) - you deserved it (2663)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

#2251338
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64078) - you deserved it (5527)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

#2248680
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41751) - you deserved it (18978)

On 05/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by anonymouss (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

#2247907
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44081) - you deserved it (3063)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by beep_guacamole (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33754) - you deserved it (109203)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: