This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58285) - you deserved it (5722)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (5343)
On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27310) - you deserved it (58269)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps randomly spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38611) - you deserved it (6231)
On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49901) - you deserved it (13571)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48904) - you deserved it (4743)
On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19611) - you deserved it (41753)
On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55675) - you deserved it (11981)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41492) - you deserved it (8666)
On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or having a teen pregnancy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43134) - you deserved it (3524)
On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (4368)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47502) - you deserved it (4136)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44545) - you deserved it (9887)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41956) - you deserved it (3639)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36370) - you deserved it (15926)
On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
