ShelboLovesNaldo

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ShelboLovesNaldo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4799
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ShelboLovesNaldo's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:31pm

ShelboLovesNaldo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ShelboLovesNaldo's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Texas) / Holidays

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

by Stoopid / 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

by Jerrrr / 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

by oopsie / 05/24/2009 at 10:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

by Loser / 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

by pizzagurl / 05/09/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

by MJ3105 / 05/07/2009 at 7:36am / Israel / Animals

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

by htothecr / 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous