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ShelboLovesNaldo

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ShelboLovesNaldo

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  • Number of visits : 3522
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ShelboLovesNaldo's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:31pm

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ShelboLovesNaldo's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41801) - you deserved it (8755)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (3932)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my brother asked if he could borrow my razor, since he recently hit puberty and wanted to have a shave. I decided to be nice and let him. When he returned it half an hour later, I couldn't help but notice his facial hair was untouched. FML

#14329924
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35740) - you deserved it (7374)

On 12/25/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

#14326662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34824) - you deserved it (6914)

On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

#14325141
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39276) - you deserved it (3206)

On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

#14316899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28683) - you deserved it (7704)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

#14316473
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (8534)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by troubleintoyland (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

#14306986
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (7094)

On 12/23/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by David H. -

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40823) - you deserved it (8671)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

#14261370
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24687) - you deserved it (6414)

On 12/19/2010 at 3:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a call from an ex, demanding to know why my Facebook relationship status was set as married. I got married a few months ago, and I quietly explained this to her. My wife overheard and now thinks I've been cheating all along. FML

#14260456
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32351) - you deserved it (4910)

On 12/19/2010 at 1:51pm - love - by married and hates - United States

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

#14222571
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (4032)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I was getting ready to load my groceries in my car when my remote wouldn't work and neither would my key to unlock it. A cute young guy came over, not to help but to ask me what the hell I was doing to his car. My car, that looked exactly like his, was on the other side of the lot. FML

#13341534
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17989) - you deserved it (11722)

On 10/06/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by ctschantz - Sent from mobile version

Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML

#13327149
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7258) - you deserved it (34570)

On 10/05/2010 at 6:46am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML



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