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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73680) - you deserved it (15145)
On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58993) - you deserved it (30950)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177356) - you deserved it (25378)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36731) - you deserved it (3530)
On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43933) - you deserved it (2491)
On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7767) - you deserved it (59614)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (39188)
On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my phone died. I plugged it in to charge and then went out to run some errands. When I returned, my phone was no where to be found, and our shovel was on the floor, muddy and wet. I then discovered my 6-year old son had buried my "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38367) - you deserved it (5579)
On 06/19/2009 at 1:57pm - kids - by no_service (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10667) - you deserved it (43286)
On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113302) - you deserved it (6688)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55394) - you deserved it (10548)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68932) - you deserved it (16882)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56401) - you deserved it (5094)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, on a plane home from Ireland, my husband who was severely hungover, vomitted in a bag before we took off. When he got up to put the bag in the bin the stewardess forced him to sit back down. I had to hold on to a bag full of vomit for a good few minutes whilst my husband was passed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29078) - you deserved it (3964)
On 06/04/2009 at 10:04pm - health - by scarlett666 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (58782)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Monday 20 May 2013
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