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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63471) - you deserved it (16083)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (58046) - you deserved it (5645)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (198888) - you deserved it (58775)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15101) - you deserved it (63541)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by aprilfooled (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (114508) - you deserved it (21982)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12671) - you deserved it (56188)
On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (484525)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (306441) - you deserved it (40888)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my parents said that they bought me a car. I had been begging for one for a year and they always said that I would have to pay for it myself. I got really excited and went to the garage to see my new ride. It was a Hot Wheels car with a note saying "save your money". FML
I agree, your life sucks (57017) - you deserved it (26089)
On 03/17/2009 at 2:17pm - money - by RdL (man) - United States (North Carolina)
I agree, your life sucks (74331) - you deserved it (10616)
On 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm - misc - by EPICfml. (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (77633) - you deserved it (3602)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47115) - you deserved it (11843)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17252) - you deserved it (50608)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13990) - you deserved it (38913)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37723) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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