Shawnlee123

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Shawnlee123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 717
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Shawnlee123's page activity

Visits<b>carry_on</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 6:04am<b>millzwazhere</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 10:42pm

Shawnlee123's FML badges

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Shawnlee123's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

by Deadman / 04/02/2012 at 9:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 11:47am / United States / Animals

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

by eakthegeek / 01/10/2012 at 4:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

by no low five / 11/30/2011 at 6:17am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy