Shaowolf

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Offline (the 09/19/2016 at 11:47am)

Shaowolf

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2183
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Shaowolf : Professional Badass

Shaowolf's page activity

Visits<b>Jbam1997</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 10:39pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:21pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:16am<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:16am<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:47pm<b>emmy165</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:11pm<b>Sophia94</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:25am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:18pm<b>bombielol</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:21am<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:44am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:48am<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:39am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 10:55pm<b>darthgagemo</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:45pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:24pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:49am<b>pks2014</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:15am<b>drgestrocka</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:49pm

Fucked!<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:45pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:48am<b>Cooldude6158</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 1:18pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:25pm

Shaowolf's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Shaowolf's badges

Shaowolf's favorite FMLs

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

by mistletoe / 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

by phonegotlostinthepark / 12/03/2013 at 12:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

by nl4 / 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

by what did I do? / 10/25/2013 at 7:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

by O-|---<=~ / 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

by SecondBest,IGuess / 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

by shittysongs / 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy