Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shaowolf

Offline (the 10/22/2014 at 9:00am) | Search for a member

Shaowolf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 573
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Shaowolf : Professional Badass

Shaowolf's page activity

Visits<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:15pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:34am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:03pm<b>italianmonster86</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:42pm<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:48am<b>f36k</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:36pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:58pm<b>samuelbeathard</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 7:59pm<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Brycecake</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:39am<b>acoustictravels</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 10:25pm<b>jad0016</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 3:58pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:47am<b>iboard555</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 2:41pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:34am<b>JoshuaOdom</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:54am<b>appletreee</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:39pm<b>shamonia</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:16pm

Shaowolf's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Shaowolf's badges

Shaowolf's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36115) - you deserved it (5802)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50056) - you deserved it (8397)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45466) - you deserved it (8847)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47731) - you deserved it (11699)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54093) - you deserved it (4798)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51839) - you deserved it (7189)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50076) - you deserved it (18166)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML

#21125472
120 comments

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49925) - you deserved it (13838)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34629) - you deserved it (5245)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56023) - you deserved it (7049)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19434) - you deserved it (44882)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62128) - you deserved it (5717)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47979) - you deserved it (9553)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: