Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shaowolf

Offline (the 05/27/2015 at 9:11am) | Search for a member

Shaowolf

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 March 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1217
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Shaowolf : Professional Badass

Shaowolf's page activity

Visits<b>Sophia94</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:25am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:18pm<b>bombielol</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:21am<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:44am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:48am<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:39am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 10:55pm<b>darthgagemo</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:45pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:21am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:24pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:49am<b>pks2014</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:15am<b>drgestrocka</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:49pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 6:04pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:58pm<b>GrimmCrimm45</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 2:23pm<b>willt9797</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:54pm<b>davidpropert</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:25am

Fucked!<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:45pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:48am<b>Cooldude6158</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 1:18pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:25pm

Shaowolf's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Shaowolf's badges

Shaowolf's favorite FMLs

Today, I got the most tear-jerking comment so far about my severe stutter. While I was talking to my neighbor, his little brother interrupted and asked me if I was possessed by a demon. FML

Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML

#21334002
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26580) - you deserved it (3779)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

#21327810
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (2669)

On 12/31/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (5952)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50316) - you deserved it (8432)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49195) - you deserved it (9644)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48189) - you deserved it (11801)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54349) - you deserved it (4810)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52047) - you deserved it (7209)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52394) - you deserved it (19105)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML

#21125472
120 comments

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53874) - you deserved it (15035)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (5399)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60661) - you deserved it (7702)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: