About Shannonbena : Ehh.
About Shannonbena : Ehh.
Shannonbena's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Shannonbena's favorite FMLs
Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML
by anonymous / 04/05/2011 at 2:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
by hiker / 03/29/2011 at 3:00pm / United States / Money
Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML
by Spike / 03/29/2011 at 2:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML
by uggo / 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML
by screwedhousemate / 03/28/2011 at 7:52am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned, 15 years later, that my puppy from when I was 4, was not taken by Santa because he was in need of a reindeer. My parents took him to the shelter because they thought he was ugly. FML
by leeseyxoxo / 03/27/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML
by Sue / 03/26/2011 at 11:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
by FromNL / 03/25/2011 at 8:22am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health
Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML
by tannerpaul / 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm / Love
by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by awesome / 03/22/2011 at 8:18pm / Animals
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 1:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML
by WhyMe / 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…