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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ShamefulPride

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ShamefulPride
  • Town/Country : Greeley, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 December 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 270
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ShamefulPride's favorite FMLs

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (13036) - you deserved it (20880)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

#17455521 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (30248) - you deserved it (9609)

On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

#16561931 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (14297) - you deserved it (28116)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194 (325)

I agree, your life sucks (5849) - you deserved it (18232)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

#15935321 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (26341) - you deserved it (2299)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by partygirl (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (5153)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710 (601)

I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (20387)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (454)

I agree, your life sucks (34153) - you deserved it (7049)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (2269)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (37424) - you deserved it (2905)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (4747) - you deserved it (46731)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (10201) - you deserved it (30179)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (39405) - you deserved it (11621)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

#1485215 (496)

I agree, your life sucks (83687) - you deserved it (11756)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (170846) - you deserved it (52072)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)



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