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ShallowWerewolf

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ShallowWerewolf
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 943
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ShallowWerewolf's favorite FMLs

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (6679)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55672) - you deserved it (13026)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML

#9111538
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28054) - you deserved it (6245)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

#9024995
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47347) - you deserved it (1946)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27489) - you deserved it (6329)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML

#8792170
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7741) - you deserved it (16189)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41822) - you deserved it (9344)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8407) - you deserved it (26763)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML

#8581671
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (58219)

On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable showerhead. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, 'You too?' FML

#6223689
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7004) - you deserved it (18635)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ShowerheadGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML

#6136343
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28209) - you deserved it (2195)

On 11/03/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by RedLion23 (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60702) - you deserved it (4413)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML

#3708472
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32565) - you deserved it (10749)

On 07/13/2009 at 2:17am - misc - by zombielover1 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77340) - you deserved it (12978)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)



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