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About Shadowvoid : About me: I made it to college. Ask if you wanna know.
I'm silly. I have 3 dogs. Tried to set my birthday as 1 B.C., but FML said I was too old. Guess they didn't get the memo that I am ageless and timeless. Oh well
There is a squirrel on my head her name is Giblets. My dog is Captain oh the HMS Floaty Raft. I am an actual ninja turtle.
Some call me Mitchell, others call me their worst nightmare, actually my old Science Teacher called me Steve? (I still don't know why) I like rock music and certain metal. Whoever put the "fun" in "funeral" must have been a real asshole. Please message me if you are from outside of the U.S. (We can still talk if you are in the U.S.) I love to know about other cultures.
If this message system is too slow, kik: shadowvoid
My comments are either a joke or another joke, do not take them too seriously.
Quote of the Month: "i'm too lazy for a new quote" -me
Message me as well, I look forward to reading them.
And remember: "Jeebus lubs you"
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, I decided to go thrifting to save some money. Ironically, I ended up having to pay for an emergency trip to the hospital because somebody was too lazy to wash the cat hair off their clothes. I'm severely allergic to cats. FML
Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML
Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML
Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML
Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML
Friday 3 July 2015