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About Shadowvoid : About me: Ask if you wanna know.
I'm silly. I have 3 dogs.
There is a squirrel on my head her name is Giblets. My dog is Captain oh the HMS Floaty Raft. I am an actual ninja turtle.
Some call me Mitchell, others call me their worst nightmare. I like rock music and certain metal. Whoever put the "fun" in "funeral" must have been a real asshole. Please message me if you are from outside of the U.S. (We can still talk if you are in the U.S.) I love to know about other cultures.
If this message system is too slow, kik: shadowvoid
My comments are either a joke or another joke, do not take them too seriously.
Quote of the Month: "I ain't yer Pa" -Pa
Message me as well, I look forward to reading them.
And remember: "Jeebus lobes you"
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML
Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML
Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML
Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML
Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML
Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML
Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML
Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML
Friday 22 May 2015