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ShadowSwept

Offline (the 09/14/2014 at 7:20am) | Search for a member

ShadowSwept

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 659
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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ShadowSwept's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18291) - you deserved it (31843)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21093) - you deserved it (3539)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8695) - you deserved it (105694)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

#5618251
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49877) - you deserved it (4599)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:43am - love - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

#5589145
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44068) - you deserved it (3287)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML

#5167647
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48841) - you deserved it (2206)

On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54574) - you deserved it (2925)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (62725)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45414) - you deserved it (26215)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

#3420908
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43225) - you deserved it (14931)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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