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ShadowSwept's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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ShadowSwept's favorite FMLs
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
by sydysyd / 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by lookslikeaboyapparently / 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous
by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML
by CrushAdrenaline / 08/27/2010 at 5:46am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Single / 08/19/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML
by hard / 08/09/2010 at 3:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by laurenraeee / 05/25/2010 at 1:18am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by mrmidi / 05/21/2010 at 1:04am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Obsessed / 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by ambermcnulty / 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…