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ShadowSwept

Offline (the 02/26/2015 at 6:51am) | Search for a member

ShadowSwept

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 971
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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ShadowSwept's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48603) - you deserved it (17733)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

#13513832
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27674) - you deserved it (5581)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm - misc - by lookslikeaboyapparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37577) - you deserved it (3501)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
47 comments

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36661) - you deserved it (6288)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39538) - you deserved it (4956)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML

#10748926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18540) - you deserved it (53402)

On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned two important facts: #1 A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML

#10661974
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27122) - you deserved it (3779)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:04am - health - by mrmidi - United States (Oregon)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (56262)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (5230)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

#7711889
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16202) - you deserved it (75295)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

#7568710
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7712) - you deserved it (28020)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

#7152531
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (5292)

On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12298) - you deserved it (25314)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)



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