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ShadowSwept

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ShadowSwept
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 460
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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ShadowSwept's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (3741)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML

#10748926
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17066) - you deserved it (50597)

On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned two important facts: #1 A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML

#10661974
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25160) - you deserved it (3580)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:04am - health - by mrmidi - United States (Oregon)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (54071)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (4996)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

#7711889
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14580) - you deserved it (72065)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

#7568710
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6170) - you deserved it (23828)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML

#7152531
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you deserved it (4718)

On 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by ambermcnulty - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11251) - you deserved it (24082)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (6668)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

#6927216
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4747) - you deserved it (42731)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Sean (man) - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16666) - you deserved it (2919)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16666) - you deserved it (2919)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12120) - you deserved it (21176)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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