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ShadowSwept's favorite FMLs
by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
by FailedSniper / 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by radiationkillz / 03/21/2011 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek
by MacGrouber / 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm / Ireland / Love
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
by Username / 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
by mariet / 02/11/2011 at 1:13am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (New York) / Health
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML
- Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath… Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I… Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up…