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ShadowSwept

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ShadowSwept

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 578
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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ShadowSwept's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14454) - you deserved it (34333)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

#19450814
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23719) - you deserved it (1865)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (9448)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

#19387058
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (4368)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25503) - you deserved it (6696)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14361) - you deserved it (36458)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29760) - you deserved it (7631)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34882) - you deserved it (5297)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32834) - you deserved it (3120)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38935) - you deserved it (7731)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42120) - you deserved it (3469)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44786) - you deserved it (5026)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29690) - you deserved it (1870)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML



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