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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34276) - you deserved it (4135)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28555) - you deserved it (3236)
On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9859) - you deserved it (41668)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (6461)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (4561)
On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46836) - you deserved it (7159)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25395) - you deserved it (2574)
On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10628) - you deserved it (35854)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9693) - you deserved it (40621)
On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30699) - you deserved it (5518)
On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9357) - you deserved it (19970)
On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (3280)
On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42872) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (3731)
On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -
Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the 'dead' man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8824) - you deserved it (32098)
On 04/04/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Cavan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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