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ShadowSwept

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ShadowSwept

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 791
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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ShadowSwept's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26163) - you deserved it (12405)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18636) - you deserved it (6728)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29940) - you deserved it (3580)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26156) - you deserved it (15718)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37301) - you deserved it (4010)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40875) - you deserved it (3873)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

#19771673
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8302) - you deserved it (29835)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm - health - by Ciara (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8180) - you deserved it (40423)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

#19769607
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (2753)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30553) - you deserved it (4578)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (5832)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (3071)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (2839)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36082) - you deserved it (2607)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

#19701580
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25801) - you deserved it (1648)

On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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