About ShadowGhost : If you are reading this it means you have navigated your way through the app to my profile. Not sure why though, I'm not very interesting.
ShadowGhost's FML badges
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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ShadowGhost's favorite FMLs
by UTRejected / 11/21/2014 at 8:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Donutsarelife / 11/19/2014 at 10:09am / United States / Geek
Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
by juggalomurderer59 / 11/12/2014 at 11:00am / United States / Health
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by noxiffic / 10/31/2014 at 8:31am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids
by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by fired tomoz / 10/29/2014 at 11:46am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love
Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML
by I_AM_READING / 10/14/2014 at 3:15am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML
by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…