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50 favourites
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Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62541) - you deserved it (5265)
On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35569) - you deserved it (5914)
On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (34811)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54419) - you deserved it (4702)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45066) - you deserved it (3678)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (4407)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)
Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42342) - you deserved it (5443)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:20am - health - by Annieisnotokay - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86182) - you deserved it (3208)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19252) - you deserved it (35447)
On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19465) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (257)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)
Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25577) - you deserved it (1683)
On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)
Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (4448)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33877) - you deserved it (6997)
On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (1852)
On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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